How to teach your dog to pray at the mosque

How to teach your dog to pray at the mosque. First, his name must be Allah, or Mohammed. He must learn that when he hears this name you are talking to HIM as his IMAM.

Second, a word about Dog food. This normally should be a steady diet of pork and canned dog food. This will keep his bowels regular during training. Later, a change of the canned dog food will loosen his bowels. It is our sacred duty to learn just exactly how long it will be before he is ready to shit (Pray) at the appointed place.

Third, Commands, he should be trained on paper first. Start with newspaper till he is predictable, then move to printed out pages of the koran from quran.com. The object is to be able to put down a koran page, and tell him “Pray, Mohammed, Pray, and get him to do his duty (Pray..) reliably. Then learn to fold the koran page into a good paper airplane. When you can put the airplane at the mosque door, and he will go pray on it, he is ready. When you have him praying reliably where the koran page plane lands, it is time to move to serious devotion.

Now we must combine the Second and Third training sessions together, to produce a dog that knows how to hold it until he has been given his Imams (YOU) command. Feed him the second dog food choice, and Pork, and walk him till he must pray. Time this movement. When you have achieved this, it is time for him to pray (shit) at the approach to the mosque. Using your skills learned training him, Feed him a double portion of pork, with the alternate canned dog food. Take him to the mosque, put down the koran page at the appointed area, and tell him  “Pray, Mohammed, Pray”, and if you have followed this guide religiously, he should Pray (Shite) all over the approach to the mosque. When he does this yell “Al Hamdoodoo lil ahhhhhh” and move quickly so that the next canine devotee may pray in turn, (or your shoes may get prayed on as well….)

Senior imam status is reached when you have trained both of your dogs to pray in unison, and can walk away with clean shoes…

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Paki lawyers email addresses

Bored? Email these paki lawyers a copy of the Charlie Hebdo

bisoffice@bisweb.org comments@ibadarrahman.org younisazad@leedsic.com cacademy@usa.pipeline.com Jaleel5@juno.com Jaleel99@yahoo.com gkashif@Salaam.net laplata-masjid@erol.com talkpeac@pop.erols.com iccl@usa.net pr@alhuda.org alaa@cheerful.com nazeez@aol.com isb@navigator.smart.net AHakim@msn.com BmoreXact@aol.com school@siss.edu muslims@islamic-city.com islam@virginia.edu info@isgr.org al_kufa@hotmail.com oashour@vt.edu sedki@bev.net msa@www.wvu.edu abeyah@aol.com SAL.RAMADA@worldnet.att.net comtd2prgs@aol.com alhedaya@negia.com 74431.1513@compuserve.com Maisah@juno.com PR@alfarooqmasjid.org sunnisolutions@hotmail.com

 

 

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Terry Jones to broadcast on Free to Air satellite channel in middle east

Terry Jones to broadcast on Free to Air satellite channel in middle east, with  arabic, persian, and urdu subtitles. It has been disclosed that someone very rich in the middle east will provide Terry Jones with unlimited access to a full

time satellite channel in the middle east. The purpose is said to be providing access to middle east populations to balance

out the slanted news against the west provided by islamic controlled countries and clerics. The general plan is said to provide news, Christian programming and services, youth news, information about womens

education and life in the western world, dating and protection against VD as well as movies that cannot be aired in the

middle east etc. There is a new documentary series being filmed now that will be broadcast about the life and times of

Prophet Mohammed as well that conforms to actual history.  There may in time be several more channels added to the service. More later with the dates and programming…

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New Infidel plan

An engineer friend is involved in a  group of western technically sharp people that is far advanced in the  process of

developing some software that is going to upset muslims in every corner of the world. He was invited to attend and join

their technical meetings laying the foundation for this movement. These visionaries have decided that without technical

assistance, belief in islam is going to continue to subject society to many more years of ignorance and violance against

others.  Having noticed what stuxnet has been able to accomplish, this group is going to design and  release a radically

different software or virus that is going to spread unopposed via the internet  installing itself on computers and cell

phones worldwide. However, it’s purpose will be to spread the true history of mohammed  and islam in popups, not the fairy

tales the  imams preach. All the techniques of popup intrusive video and audio  ads are to be utilized to give quick moments on computer and cell

phones designed to reduce the islamic hold on people. It will in effect, proselytize believers to doubt their religion.

Using sublimal video messages,and tested brainwashing techniques, it is going to reduce belief in islam drastically, and

they will not realize it is happening. Indoctrination of users to laugh at cultural icons, pick up the latest pop lyrics,

want the latest clothes, and impress on them that having a girlfriend or boyfriend is absolutely natural are going to

change muslim cultures rapidly to their leaders dismay. Teams of dedicated translators are setting up the various

lancguages for the popups, starting with arabic,hindi, persian, Urdu, french and english to cover europe as well as the

middle east for openers. All middle east languages are to be addressed, and western languages too, to cover the second and

third generation immigrants.

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The Goat is praying for relief

pray1 sp2

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Free Speech is a right

Contrary to moslem thought, free speech is alive and well. If that offends them, so what?

Speaking of Free Speech here is the address to the trailer; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmodVun16Q4

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